#15 - Public Service Announcement

Hey y'all, quick announcement!

Paleeeaaase do NOT ask me and Kellie when we plan on having kids after we get married.
I repeat, if you wish to remain friends on my Christmas list, 
doooooo noooooot inquire about the status of my queen's uterus, bro.

To be quite candid with y'all,
sometimes I let myself starve because I'm too lazy to cook or load the dishwasher afterwards,
so I know I ain't nowhere near ready to care for another human being.

Lately, I have been prodding Kelz about her 5-year plan.
She has some pretty big aspirations,
that may require additional schooling.
So after I graduate,
we'll be pouring a lot of time, energy, and resources into her dreams.
(Oh, and saving!
Also, if you haven't noticed,
we have some pretty big travel aspirations on our bucket list to the left,
and I'm preeee-tty sure a child would render that list null and void.)
Ergo, our lives will not be conducive to parenting.

But besides the lack of readiness,
"Oh, hey! How was your weekend?
When you guys having kids?!"
is just plain WEIRD,

And I can only think of a few exceptions in which it would be mildly acceptable:
(1) You have a ton of free time and you're volunteering as tribute for the Babysitter Games in advance,
(2) You have some extra cash laying around and you want to sponsor a child's expenses until they're 18.

Otherwise, with all due respect,
we acknowledge all concerns about biological clocks,
and if pushing back juuust a little against the monotony of
dating ==> marriage ==> children ==> work ==> retirement ==> death
makes us selfish in any way,
then you'll catch me sewing scarlett letter Ss on my clothing come July of next year.

With that,
I bid you all good day,
'n come back now y'hear?!

No comments:

Post a Comment