#27 - 4 Things We've Learned At the Halfway Point

Image Source
We're officially over the hill now, fam! 
The venue has been booked. 
The theme has been chosen. 
The cake has been tasted. 
The dresses and tuxes have been fitted.
Save the Dates have been sent. 
The photog and videographers are set.
The DJ is being readied. 
Rough drafts of our vows, which we've decided to do ourselves, have been written.
The big stuff is all but done. Now we're tying up loose ends. 
Here are four things that we have learned thus far during our journey...

1)  Enjoy being engaged.  
After you put a ring on your partner's finger
and post it on the Internets, 
it's off to the races, g. 
Luckily for Kellie and myself, 
we went on vacation the day afterward so we had some time alone to reflect and celebrate.
There's a newness and mystery and enchantment about being engaged,
which can be COMPLETELY overshadowed by a Wedding To-Do List.
Resist that list, y'all. 
Put it down. 
Step away from it.
Enjoy your significant other with undivided attention. 
Being engaged isn't just about planning a wedding,
but consolidating 2 independent lives and planning your new family,
the latter of which has been (surprisingly) a LOT easier 
and a lot more enjoyable than the former (for me). 

2) Prioritize and be realistic. 
So about that aforementioned to-do list.
Eventually, we had to start marking things off of it. It's just 'part of the process.
There are several customizable wedding checklists online.
We've used TheKnot's throughout our engagement.

What we quickly found is that our vision was larger than our budget allowed.
Shoot, even if you're planning to just go to the courthouse, gas prices are goin' up everyday 
so plan on spending more than you thought you'd spend originally.

This simply meant that we had to prioritize: 
I LOVE music. A live-bad and a memorable DJ? Non-negotiable.
Kellie is spoiled. Gold chairs at the reception? Non-negotiable.
If y'all ain't noticed yet, we stay eatin'. Great food? Non-negotiable.
A 100,000 square feet reception space large enough to invite e'rybody and their mama? Negotiable.
Illegal fireworks in the hotel parking lot? Negotiable.
A Rolls Royce Phantom to ride off into the sunset? Negotiable. 
The things we could do without, we poured out some Simply Apple and parted ways with them. 
The things that we could not do without, we've found a way to incorporate in some form or fashion.

3) Delegate tasks and relinquish responsibility.
A TON goes into weddings. Way more than I could have ever imagined.
It's way too much for one, or even two, people to handle. 
Kellie has delegated tasks to me and her mom. 
I've assigned tasks to my mom.
My sister has chipped in.
Our best man and maid of honor both have lended a hand,
along with a few other people, as well.
And we're still overwhelmed and completely over it most of the time.
Kelz said she'd strongly consider a wedding planner if we had to do it over again.

4) "Always be creating." - @afrolicious
I've never Googled so much in my entire life.
"What does jumping' the broom even mean?"
"Is wearing a tux in the afternoon faux-pas?"
"How many calories can you burn doing the Nae-Nae?"
Ceremony program templates, groom cakes, invitation protocol. You name it, we've looked it up.

Kellie has Nigerian roots and we plan to incorporate her culture. 
I'm from a small town and want our wedding to reflect The South, as I know and love it
(not the pop-culture, Duck Dynasty south that's often depicted, and subsequently, scoffed at).
She's working, but I'm in graduate school. 
What we've found is that, we:
people of color, 
still working on getting established,
are grossly underrepresented in the wedding blogosphere.
Quick:  Google "wedding hairstyles," something Kellie is having difficulty deciding on nowadays.
(Or, click: this.)
None of the pictures look like her. Not one.
But we do get married, right?
Of course.
So, we created our own space!

1 comment:

  1. i love this. my honey and i just got married almost three weeks ago and i saw very few wedding blogs from folks who looked like me. i blogged a fair bit about wedding planning and plan to continue sharing some wedding posts now that we're hitched. congrats to both of you and i hope you are enjoying this time!